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Even if I throttle you to the turf and shatter your clavicle, I mean no malice. To see that face is to hear him say: I mean no harm. Except to say that he has the smile of a baby, the innocent look. He looks kind of like a giant baby-a super-ripped giant baby. (That number is scientifically accurate.) Six feet six inches tall, 262 pounds, hairless torso, shoulders that are like eight inches front to back. There, standing by the taxi stand, a human body in perfect proportion, only at 134 percent human size. We'd planned to meet this morning in the lobby of the Fontainebleau hotel, and when I arrive I can see him from a hundred yards away. So we made a plan to do everything a person should do on summer vacation: walk around Miami Beach, meet some models, take our shirts off, eat lots of lean protein, do tequila shots, breakdance, and go totally HAM on some cardio. It seemed that if one wanted to gather up the tricks, rules, and insights to live like Rob Gronkowski, the person with perhaps the most public, unburdened, absurd sense of fun in America, the best place to do it would be Miami. Mostly due to its awesomeness-weather, training facilities, nightclubs, people walking around largely naked, etc. If you've spent any time doing Google Image searches for Rob Gronkowski shirtless and grinding on people (with his dad), then you probably know that for three days in February he turned a Norwegian Cruise Line vessel into something called “Gronk's Party Ship.” But Rob has been operating largely out of Miami Beach this off-season.

He went to California to film a Nickelodeon show called Crashletes. Tomorrow he's going to Phoenix for a charity event.

He was invited to a film premiere in L.A.

Micro machines military tank jet 1998 target